说了再见。。。

  天亮了 雨下了 你走了
 清楚了 我爱的 遗失了
 落叶飘在湖面上睡著了

 想要放 放不掉 泪在飘
 你看看 你看看不到
 我假装过去不重要 却发现自己办不到

 说了再见 才发现再也见不到
 我不能就这样失去你的微笑

 口红待在桌脚 而你我找不到
 若角色对调你说好不好

 说了再见 才发现再也见不到
 能不能就这样忍著痛泪不掉

 说好陪我到老 永恒往哪里找
 再次拥抱一分一秒都好

 天亮了 雨下了 你走了
 清楚了 我爱的 遗失了
 落叶飘在湖面上睡著了

 想要放 放不掉 泪在飘
 你看看 你看看不到
 我假装过去不重要 却发现自己办不到

 说了再见 才发现再也见不到
 我不能就这样失去你的微笑

 口红待在桌脚 而你我找不到
 若角色对调你说好不好

 你的笑 你的好 脑海里 一直在绕
 我的手 忘不了 你手的温度

 心碎了一地 捡不回从前的心跳
 伤心过去我无力逃跑

 说再见 才发现再也见不到
 能不能就这样忍著痛泪不掉

 说好陪我到老 永恒往哪里找
 再次拥抱一分一秒都好....

转圈圈

是时候面对事实了

为什么为什么为什么。。。

去睡觉算了。。

face to face with H1N1

it was 4.30pm and there came a call to teach MDI inhaler technique in 8C. it didn't hit me at first that that was the isolation ward until the SN said the patient was H1N1 positive.

shudders..

well, i guess i didn't have much of a choice. given the timing and knowing that most probably the name will just hang there in the office, i went up, postponing my article review for tomorrow.

the robing was quite fun actually, ignoring the fact that i put the robe the opposite way first time round. when i got up there there were actually TWO patients, not one. just my luck. i guess this has to do with my bad habit of having spares. now fate is mocking me.

but i digress.

so anyway, the robing was quite fun. there was the robe, shoe cover, gloves, head cover, N95 (i put on a normal mask too for double protection). not too bad, i could still breathe.

i had to robe myself 2 times since after each patient i had to throw everything into the yellow bin.

first patient was quite fast since she did not have the inhaler with her, so all i could do was show her the leaflet and try to explain. gosh i hope they don't call again tomorrow. :S

second patient was quite a harrowing experience. she didn't wear her mask. she kept coughing. i tried hard not to visualise the tiny bugs flying out of her mouth and wafting across my face in the room. gosh.. can they even penetrate through skin? or mucosal membranes? or enter through pimples on my face??? open wounds wei.....:( half my face and eyes are not covered. they should make some kind of mask so that i'm fully coated.:(

and so she coughed and coughed and coughed.. sigh..

then since i had to reassess her technique, i had to ask her to exhale.. sigh.. all the bugs flying out.. :S :S i had to demonstrate inhaling, through the mask of course, but even then i shudder to think if the bugs can penetrate the mask then i'm inhaling them deep down into my lungs...

sigh.... tonight i cannot sleep dy..

h/o's... ><'''

i can never understand how they think..

went to the ward to collect data for my research. all i need is to search the census for ugib cases, then have a peak at the bht to see whether it's due to forrest I or II ulcers, then a few minutes will do to complete my survey form.

scenario 1: hmm.. bed 22.. bed 22.. where's bed 22? oh that h/o is holding it. i observe for a while. he's just hugging the file close to his chest while following the m/o on their rounds. he's not doing anything to it, not looking at it, but just holding it. and they are rounding some other beds. after a while, the h/o walks to the back of the ward, talks a bit, still holding to that file. so i approach him and ask politely whether i can use the file for a while. he looks at me like i'm rubbish (he knows who i am since i was attached there for a while) then he asks: WHY? okay... so i explain.. just for a while to jot down some details for research. then he creases his brow, looks totally irritated, and says: NOT NOW. then walks away. wth? No. 1: so rude. No.2: not like he's using it anyway.

so i follow him around at some distance like some puppy. and it's so obvious that he's not using it. the fact dawned on him too but will he pass it to me? nooooo... after hugging the file and following the round for some time, he finally took the file and put it on the trolley. gah.. cannot admit he was hogging it by passing to me? anyways, i didn't even take 5 minutes.

Scenario 2: i needed the file for just like 1 minute to check whether is ugib due to ulcer or not, file's at the counter, h/o says wait. fair enough, they had to use it to confirm something over the phone. after that, another doc turn it facing me to check something, then they were done with the file. i tried to sneak a peek at the yellow ogds finding page to see the diagnosis, then this h/o turned the whole file around, purposely i think, just to leaf through it. waa.. then i had to read upside down as he leafed through.

sigh...

is cervarix or gardasil really neccessary??

been wondering for some time.. to take or not to take.. if take, which brand.. seems like both has quite a high incidence of side effects.. although most people are fine. mom's freaking out at the thought of taking the vaccine.. putting thoughts of death rates into my head. a brief search on internet and now apart from death, got paralysis, bells palsy etc swimming in my head. i'm just wondering.. will i regret it if i don't take it? sigh... my mind's a blunder.. and i'm not getting younger. 26 will come all too soon.. :(

i should know better..

but it hurts all the same..