其实每个女生都是一个傻丫头~

一。和她发短信时，回复一定要快，让她觉得你放下手上的

事情立刻回复她，字数一定要比她的多，这样她会觉得你很在乎她。 ­

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二。每天睡觉之前一定要给她一条道“晚安”的短信，不管你有多晚，因为她可能一直在等你，只是她嘴上说不管。即便是她已经昏昏睡去，第二天一醒来也会立刻去查收信息。 ­

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三。看到她的未接电话要立刻打过去，任何时候不要让她找不到你，因为这样她会一直很不安心。 ­

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四。你问她想不想你时，如果她说不想，你不要生气，因为她的不想就是想。 ­


五。千万要记得女生都是害羞的，不要什么都让她主动。也不要在她表现心疼、吃醋、关心你的时候不停地问，只要偷偷地笑心里甜就够了，也许她不想让你知道她无时无刻不在想对你好。 ­

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六。经常去她的空间逛逛，即使什么也不留下，但是她看到你来过的痕迹也会很开心，也许有些心情就是为你而写。顺便看看她的心情日志什么的，还有她好友的留言，多知道点她的小秘密挺好，准备惊喜也容易点。 ­

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七。牵了手就不要轻易说分手，吵架的时候也不要说。如果她赌气跑开，只要一个用力的拥抱就能让她安静，就能让她感觉到你的爱。希望你能懂她离开时想要被挽留，如果说出口那只是乞求来的温柔。 ­

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八。开始一段新的恋情的前提是放下前面的所有恋情，你可以把她们给你的信物和美好记忆保留着，但是请把这些用一个匣子藏在她永远不会发现的地方，因为那些她不知道的事对于她是致命的伤害。记住女生都是敏感的动物。 ­

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九。如果一时冲动分了手，请给彼此冷却的时间，想清楚她就是你想要的人就勇敢地告诉她，不管用什么手段，死皮赖脸也好让她回到你身边就好。如果真的爱她就不要放开她，不要让她伤心，不要让她流泪，你明明知道她有多傻，她会傻傻等你的，你知道女生的青春有多么宝贵么！如果你还心疼她绝不要在分手不到一个月就移情别恋，这样等于在她伤口上撒盐。请你交换角色想一想，如果你女朋友和你分手第二天就在别的男人怀里开心地笑，你的心会有多痛？­

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如果你有一个傻丫头，请你好好珍惜她好好爱她好吗？也许你不知道你的一句关心，你的一个微笑，你的一个吻，一个拥抱，一个摸头发的动作都是她的幸福，其实她要的只是这么简单。她不奢求太多的惊喜，太多的浪漫，有你就是她所有的幸福。不要轻易放开她，因为她是傻丫头，她会在别人面前装的很强，对每个人微笑，然后半夜一个人躲在楼梯拐角处偷偷哭啼，她会不停地听着和你有关的歌，默默关注着你，默默的生病，默默的流泪，她会开始变的沉默，变得开始唱悲伤的歌，弹悲伤的曲子。­

如果你真的有一个傻丫头请记得你说的话好吗？请你让她幸福，给她幸福，要自信的对她说：“我会让你变成全世界最幸福的人，我要让所有的人都羡慕你有一个好老公。”­

saw this on facebook.. so true.. gals are idiots when it comes to love. guys just need to understand that.

cooling down period

boy was i mad.. but after taking a bath.. i finally decided to do the call anyway. this time i can say 'i sacrifice for you' to his face.

but i guess it really pays to 吃点亏..

coz when i called, he said he found someone.

breath of relief.

maybe he's not as useless as i thought.

my mood improved vastly. i even wished him all the best tomorrow and to break a leg.

but then again, even though "break a leg" is no different than "good luck", it is a bit not apt for a ball game.

so well... let's all hope for the best tomorrow.

p/s: i shoot to 100 degrees fast.. blow off steam for a while.. then it all evaporates leaving the nice me once again. it's always been this way. and i've just been reminded of myself once again. but mind you.. when i'm pissed.. i'm PISSED..

oh and by the way, H1N1 injected arm hurts after a day. no kidding.

what really PISSES me off!

if i change on-call with X and you owe X one and have to ganti her, FOR GOODNESS SAKE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT CALL! that's basic knowledge.

let's see... if X exchanged with me and i'm supposed to do it next week or sth, if i need to do presentations on that same day it's my own bad luck and i'll have to deal with it, and not say...."i sacrifice for youuuuu~~~" everytime i see X and make her feel bad.

it's not like i purposely change with X coz i can foresee that everyone will have to do presentations on that day right? moreover, it would be X's problem if you didn't have to ask her to ganti you much earlier.

and if you are supposed to do that call and you suddenly have some stupid ball chasing match football tournament YOU are the one supposed to deal with it right?? you don't come telling me at 4.45pm on friday "ohhhhh can you ganti me tomorrow?? pity me larrrr...."

GAH!!!!

if it's such an important match did you just find out about it 15 minutes before work ended on the day just before? if it's such a last minute thing it must not be very important. or if it is such an important thing you would have known much earlier. and you didn't bother to find a substitute earlier? was it just so that you can shock me at the very last minute and pressure me to doing the call??

well, too bad, i already have plans since a week ago.

and too bad for me also, if no one turns up, i'll still be the one fried.

really DAMN IT!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE TRIPLE INFINITY SHIT MAN!!

u asshole.. slimball.. slug.. bugger.. argh!!!!!!!!!

really, i would have thought you were more responsible than that.

H1N1 vaccination

after thinking bout it long and hard, i finally decided to let myself be one of the guinea pigs and take the H1N1 vaccine. well, we were supposed to take it anyway, and to write down our names if we refused so that in case we kena H1N1 we had to answer for ourselves. since it was die (from the vaccine?) or die (from H1N1?), i just took it la end of story.

a bit scared. wasn't painful. hand a bit numb after that. just like after the flu vaccine last time.

came home. dad was very supportive. mom was very NOT supportive. just like the population at hospital right now: some so happy that the vaccine is out. "we need the protection! we're at risk!" some won't take no matter what. "don't wanna be guinea pigs!"...

....

anyway, if i grow horns tomorrow you all will be the first to know.

sometimes life just goes in a circle

today suddenly had the urge to reconnect with some old friends.. found out some stuff.. felt quite sad. what i had predicted had come true after all.. it didn't end after we left. the new batch suffered the same fate as me. thinking back, i can remember the rage, the confusion, the disbelief at the extremeness sum ppl can go to, and i wouldn't hope it on any other. but life comes in a circle that doesn't stop. and this time it did not end up with someone as outwardly docile as i was. somehow, i feel sad for tigerlady too. coz i still believe that she does not really mean to hurt all the people that she has. so much has changed in just this short few months.. sigh..

all is not bad though. today i walked in and you suddenly asked me whether i was feeling better. that simple act of concern really touched me. i mean, we are not even close. and i just mentioned it in passing to ur hubby last night and u remembered. that simple sentence made my day even brighter than it originally was. suddenly i catch a glimpse of why ur hubby chose u, since i have not really known u well before this. sum ppl have a lot of opinions on who marry who and whether they think they should or not. but i see how well u two suit each other. i have learnt to see a little deeper. now i really don't mind getting to know you a little better. and thank you for making my day.=]

some drivers are nuts @.@

just came back from gold coast and tanjung sepat with my family, only to be told that our dustbin is successfully decapitated..

or rather.. that this car came way too fast.. banged the back of my neighbour's car parked outside their house.. reversed.. then banged our dustbin.. then zoomed off..

but now i think bout it.. if the front of the car is anywhere near as bad as my neighbour's backside.. it would be quite hard to zoom off.

this calls for an investigation.. reinterogation of eye witnesses..

except there were none.

so in the end.. there's just the banged up backside of my neighbour's car.. and wat's left of our dustbin.

i think i'll do something more productive.. like sorting out my photos. haha..

malaria's in town

today suddenly got ppl come to our housing area to test us all for malaria. it seems sum fella working at sarawak got it, so hey taman, you all gotta get tested.

first time i really sympathised with those diabetics who have to prick their fingers like 4 times a day to test their sugar level. one prick on my finger for malaria testing.. well.. not really painful, but still, not something i would wana do often.

and the way they treat the houses is quite different from fogging.. it's just some spraying of some odourless medication which needs to be dried. tadaa. we still went out of the house for a while though. with the fans on full blast.

so let's hope they don't come calling anything soon. then we'll be clear!;p

methadone experience

hmm.. one week at methadone.. quite interesting.

some patients are soooo cute!!! they can make u stutter during counseling. haha.

some are so nice they even tapau nasi lemak and beehoon to belanja us. even though we were quite scared to eat it.. got drugs added maybe?? but end up it was just fine.

M for methadone?

some complain when we dilute the methadone with more water to make it impossible for them to concentrate it for injection (no kick it seems.. but i thought methadone not supposed to give kick??)

some always come and hurry us.. faster faster gotta work.

there was this one time where a row of them, 5 actually, were handcuffed together. then when i called one name the whole row stood up and came forward. quite freaky. but then they had to orientate themselves in such a way that the person could sign, drink, with them moving accordingly like marionettes. i had to stop myself from laughing out loud.

for the first 3 days i parked far away purposely for fear of my car being scratched..
late once.. scratch!
tomorrow late again.. scratch!
horror of horrors...

but then my boss laughed at me. so after that i just zoomed in right next to the methadone building. they were so nice.. no scratch.. they even reminded me to turn off my lights. Lolzz..

then i also went to prison.. quite an experience. they actually don't just rot there in their cells while waiting for their time to be over. i learnt that they actually go through courses, then get to learn skills, and work for money after they are trustworthy enough. it must be like life-long BTN.. scary thought..

felt a bit bad when boss had to cramp into my small car though. and i was quite nervous. i mean, it's stressful enough to fetch ur boss to the prison since my driving skills weren't exactly very pro.. plus.. my tank was nearly empty.. wasn't quite expecting an extra trip that day. thought could top up on the way back home. but all went well though. thank goodness.

my boss even belanja me teh in prison. haha. that must be the first and last time i yamcha in prison.

all in all.. i quite enjoyed this week. no requirements to think about. plenty of packaging and recording, but not bad once you get the hang of it. didn't really touch my TDM stuff the whole week though.:( tomorrow must go back to work with extra zeal!

disorganisations! it there is such a word...

i am suddenly in a clearing mood.. sadly not one in which i feel motivated to type out all my TDM presentations or scour the internet for journals for research project though.. but motivated enough to clear the living room table.

i finally can't stand the dump it's becoming. imagine.. such a wide table.. full of all my books.. papers.. laptop..

organize organize!! clear clear!!

then hopefully i will be in a more efficient mode.

most probably i will just go to sleep though.

actually.. the only thought on my mind right now is that HEROES LOAD FASTER!!

musings~

sometimes i wonder...

we point our fingers at them and say they are this and that...

but actually..

aren't we just like them?

my boss must be getting shivers when he sees my number...

it's my second day at methadone and my boss was on leave. after a very stressful, crazy and busy first day.. he taught both of us how to assemble this and that, where everything was, how to do this and that.. then he left us saying.. if there's anything better to call me.

so today dawned...

the first problem.. he seemed alright.. talked us through.. told us what to do..

then the second.. and third.. and fourth..

anyway.. i can't really remember how many were there.. but i know there were at least 3 (or 4?) from me and one from my partner. that makes it... like almost a call every hour?　

but come to think of it.. it must not have been tat bad la.. coz i remember the first call was at 11sth.. and the last at 3sth.. but maybe it was quite a few in the space of a couple of hours.. anyhow.. his picking up voice was beginning to sound a bit fazed..

i mean. how can it be a holiday when u are demanded to think and process and come up with solutions reminded of work every time u get into something?

i mean. can u even take a nap?

or maybe u are sitting down to a most delightful meal and then ring ring..

or maybe the tv/game is at the most climatic moment and then ring ring..

or maybe working people on cuti don't do stuff like that.

i guess it'll be more practical stuff like going to the bank to pay up all ur bills and update ur account books or renew ur this and that or pay tax or sth and then ring ring..

in the bank.. if you're on the phone, the guard actually thinks you are plotting a robbery and will ask u to hang up. serious.

but enough of all this.. i should just leave people alone for some rest.

but i really duno how to deal with those sudden changes ma.. like patients supposed to come yesterday but come today then the chart shows he took away for yesterday....

or suddenly got spub stuff.. or patients appearing with letters saying they wana go hutan or go work or sth..

or that we can only give maximum 3 bottles..

or faxing stuff we don't have to jinjang?

sigh..

life is complicated..

golden hour

Today i drove home with the sky a golden splendour,
and colourful lights along the streets..

the way home has never looked so beautiful..