When the going gets hard..

The hard gets going..?

What if it hurts to see the people u love go through hardship because of u..

Then u become the burden.. the problem source.. The problem itself?

When I am in auto mode

There are moments in time where your brain tells you you shouldn't. But it's like you can't control your fingers or eyes. Like they're on auto mode, flipping an scanning through those that should not be seen, pictures coming back to haunt you at your darkest hour.

Dammit..

Emo day :S

Maybe it's coz I've been working non-stop and my normal common sense is lost somewhere between dreamland and reality..

Maybe it's d period in time where I see the black dot instead of the whole white sheet of paper...

Maybe it's the impending headache that I can feel coming but is yet still reluctant to pop in a PCM...

Maybe it's my inability to resist checking out the past even when I know that my mind cannot just process and delete without obsessing over some small detail which might become an incessant thorn at my side...

Maybe it's knowing that i will never have any share in a certain period of memories..

Maybe I should just finish my on-call then go home and crash into my bed....

confusion...

why is it always either too much or too little?

why can't it be just nice?

why doesn't it feel right?

is it? or is it not?

decisions to be made. answers not yet found. SOS, God..