what a surprise..=]

i thought my writing that day was quite lame, with a lame plot and an even lamer style of writing, but hey, i got second in the emerge essay writing competition. but one day, i'll show you all what i think is a quality essay.

today, khen called me and told me the good news, but of course, not before he had fun tricking me bout it. anyway, this is the first time i heard him so 'sakai' when he was talking. normally he is so serius. anyway, i was quite afraid that he was going to scold me for letting imu down. even though second is not that great, i'm glad i didn't let imu down. Go L.U.!

so here is the piece i wrote for the competition. personally, i don't think this is something i'm really satisfied in. that's coz it doesn't give me the feeling i want. when i write a piece that i'm proud of, i get really into it when i'm writing, and when i finish, i can feel in my heart that i did my best, a real sense of satisfaction. i can't say that for this essay, but well, here it is. there's some ammendments which i have already forgotten since i wrote it some time ago. but the gist of it should be something like this...


“No dad! Stop! Please!!” He used his bare arms to try and shield him and his little sister from their father’s lashing belt. His father, in his drunken rage, continued to lash out at them mercilessly. At the fall of each stinging whip, he could feel pain rack through his entire body. Still, he held his sister tight, trying in vain to protect her as much as he could. They had lost their mother to a painful accident two years ago, leaving behind an insanely drunk father. His sister was all he had left. The pain was not too hard to bear. Soon, it will be over. Soon, their father would lumber up the stairs to sleep off the booze. Soon, only the wailing of a child could be heard in the silent night.

“We have to get out of here.” He told his sister, Fanny. “If we stay on any longer he will kill us one day!” Fanny just stared up at him with large, tear-filled eyes. “What should we do?”Fanny whispered, fear reflecting in her eyes. “I want mommy back”, Fanny started to cry. He could only hold Fanny close as Fanny’s body shook with wracking sobs. He was sad too, devastated at the lost of his mother, in fact, but he had to stay strong. The night his mother died was the night he had to grow up in a hurry, as that very night their father turned to alcohol to drown his sorrows. Apparently everyone had their own way of dealing with pain.

“Tonight,” he promised Fanny. He had been secretly selling berries, which he picked from the forest near their village, to his classmates for a year now. The meagre fare he saved up was finally enough to warrant him and his sister a seat in a boat to the next town where he heard that children could earn a living mending fishing nets. The chances that he would find a good samaritan willing to take them in was very slim indeed, but it was better than trying to pretend that the pain from the numerous beatings was gone, or to see his sister covered in bruises, cowering in fear, or wailing in pain. They had to get out. It was their only chance. It could be their last chance.

They waited until darkness enveloped the sky before creeping out of the house. From afar, he could see the lonesome figure of his father drinking alone on the porch. For a moment, it nearly shook his resolve to run. But then, remembering the screams of his sister at the lashings so cruely served to them, he steeled his heart, tightened his hold on Fanny’s arm and ran like never before. Finally, he felt free. Finally, he felt safe. An unknown world was out there waiting for them, with new roads to be taken, new paths to be found. But he would not be alone. Together they will find their safe haven.

It was only a short distance to the dock. Frantically, he scanned the boats for the sailor he spoke to earlier. Finally, he saw him drinking with some other sailors aboard one of the boats. His heart froze at the sight of booze, but he told himself that it would be ok. That it was just a short boat trip. He tugged his sister behind him and hailed the sailor in as manly a voice as he could. “That’s the boy joining our boat tonight,” he heard the sailor say to his friends while guffawing loudly. Drawing on all his courage, he said to the man, “here is the money. Can you help my sister up first?” The man bent over and gave Fanny a shove up. Looking back once more at all that he knew, the boy hoped that a brighter future awaited them at the other side of the lake. Finally, he turned and pulled himself up the boat.

“What do you think you are doing?” the sailor growled in a low voice. Puzzled, he said, “I paid you didn’t I?” The sailor laughed an evil laugh, and then said, “You paid me alright, for one seat. That’s for this adorable young lady we have here.” Turning to leer at Fanny, the sailor nudged his friend, “How much do you think this girl can bring us?” Their manic laughter rang in the air as they continued to gulp down more beer.

Fear gripped his heart. Everything was happening in a whirl. He could not believe that this was happening. They had tried so hard to run away from danger, but fate decreed otherwise. He had been duped! He had to get Fanny out of there now! “Fanny! Come quick!”He shouted. Fanny, terrified beyond her wits, started to run towards him, but was held back by one of the sailors. “She’s ours now.” The sailor said with a grin, then pushed him over the side of the boat.

Time seemed to stand still. He could see Fanny’s head looking down at him, but it seemed so unreal, so dream-like, like it was from another world. He felt separated from her by an invisible barrier. Her mouth was open and she seemed to be crying, but he could hear nothing. He could only watch as her face grew smaller and smaller, further and further. Then everything went black. Darkness enveloped him. He could feel no more pain, no more fear. But it was not supposed to end this way…

(915 words)